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Obsessed with Thought

I struggle with anxiety of the mind.

Although I hate the label of it, it is the reality of where I stand.

I know so many people like me. I talk to them and see them on a daily basis.

Where does this stem from?

Well I would tell you that mine began so long ago that I couldn't even pinpoint the exact moment my lightbulb became a dim light.

I went from being extremely excited and motivated to be innovative and find solutions to the very issues that I struggled with, to being overly concerned that it came out right the very first time I did it. (No room for error)

This is where the obsession kicked in.

Even in the things I am gut-ly confident in I second guess my ability to display the information in a meaningful way that many would understand and retain.

But it's all in my head.

The worst part is that I criticize my own efforts before I even give anyone else the opportunity to nitpick what I may have spent days, weeks, even months on to help someone else.

This has become my silent killer.

Our world has become so driven by appearance and validation that it places this false complex in front of us that makes us question every single thing we do even when deep down we truly don't care.

Depending on how you were raised or who you grew up around if you were always expected to get it right the first time or seek the approval of those caring for you the world that we live in now can be somewhat paralyzing in stepping into your best self.

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. This is a real thing.

And yes you will come across people who are quick to judge or want attention and so they want to highlight your battles but do not let that discourage you.

You are beautifully broken.

Start that project where you are in this moment and just do it for you until you grow the strength and confidence to add in other people.

This is YOUR life and you have the power over your mind, thoughts, actions.

You are not stuck to the image that others have painted of you.

Hell, you are not even stuck to the image of yourself that you have learned to believe.

Let it go and walk in your own light and make your life whatever you desire it to be because at the end of your road it will only be you that you can validate and will you be pleased with the person you showed up as everyday?

Let those thoughts go!!!


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